It has been a while since I have written anything, I find my life allowing not much more than short Facebook blurbs on how life is going, and yet there is so much more to my life than that.
We are awaiting the arrival of our new exchange student and family member, Federico from Italy. He arrives Tuesday. So, I find myself thinking about traveling. I think about some of the travels I have made over the years. Road trips alone and with family. An insanely long flight to Thailand. One thing that all travels have in common is that point in them that you get the desire to get home.
I sit for extended periods of time, and my body cries out to be set free from the shackles of my bucket-seat prison. I desire to get out and stretch, but more than that, I just want to get home. The closer you get, the more you want to get there even quicker and flirt with the vertical pedal on the right. Then, finally you pull into the driveway, turn off the ignition and begin unloading the car. The kids run and play with all the toys they haven't seen in days as if the toys were missing them too. Then, when the kids are in bed, you take a quick shower to rinse off the road grime and then crawl into your own bed... ahhh! Nothing beats the feeling when you are finally in your own bed after you've been gone.
This weekend I hit the wall. You know the wall don't you? That invisible place you get to when you have run and run and then you just don't want to do anymore. You just need a break. You just want to go home. You begin to cling to verses like John 14:1-3.
My pastor has been preaching on faith. Tonight he continued from this morning, talking about faith's hope-- our ultimate destination. I don't remember much about what he said as I was lost in being home sick for my eternal home. Where I truly belong. No, I am not feeling suicidal. But there are times like right now, when I long for the rest that is promised in Hebrews.
Paul wrestled with the same feelings, when he said to "live is Christ, and to die is gain." Maybe I need to go crawl under a tree by a stream, and let the ravens feed me meat and bread. I am just homesick. I will a picture of our new son in a few days. I am going to bed. I pray the Lord will give me visions of my place he has gone to prepare for me...
